With no hesitation, I’ve been known to grab on to a new furry faced family member and say, I am yours and you are mine and we will be together forever. And then we gather up into the folds of life, neatly tuck them into every little nook and cranny and the “dance me to the end of love” begins.
A different life
Those small apartments in tall brown buildings when I was small didn’t lend much for all the horses and dogs and cats I wanted. I’d have to wait and wait for them.
It’s just that the universe is tricky business. And has a delicate intertwining with a purposeful sense of rhythm.
But when it was time, one by one they came with the sweetness of angels and we danced to the end of love. Only the love never ends so we’re still dancing. Just from far away.
The weight of a feather
This little spirit boy in fur that lives with us came when he was two days old. There were many before him in forever many years, but this one is an only child. And this one, takes care of us. Much like a mature, single guy taking care of his old bucky, borderline parents.
Upon arrival he was smeared in poo poo and screaming his little mouth beet red. He kept the washing machine working overtime and the kitchen countertop covered with formula, bottles and such. But we told him don’t you worry. We’ve got this. We’ve done this before, and we know what we’re doing.
I told him, he was born under a lady’s porch. She brought him to the animal shelter all by himself because there was just one of him. (She snatched you up!) But when she got there, the maternity ward was filled up, no room at the inn. They called me to come and get him.
What I don’t tell him is that I cried when I thought of his mother returning home, under that porch, and not finding him there because the lady hadn’t waited for his mama and just grabbed him.
Ten years later
That was the first forty-eight hours of his newness here on earth and the beginning of our agreement that takes us into forever and ever. That was ten years ago.
For those who remember their past lives, rebirth is a clear experience. However, most ordinary beings forget their past lives as they go through the process of death, intermediate state and rebirth. ~ HH Tenzin Gyatso
Such a brave boy, he has seen a lot in that period of time. And, he lost his sissy eight years ago when she was only four. A fluky deadly baby condition. We all went temporarily insane and leaned on each other a lot during that time.
I’m still kneeling by the water’s edge, the sky is black and thunder rolls, but now I hold this heart within my hands, And I won’t ever let it go – Sarah Jarosz
A lifetime for one
As it happens sometimes, love stories are told at the end of life on earth. One evening at work, I was called to triage a longhaired black and white kitty who sat quietly in the arms of a tall, young woman. She brought her blanketed loved one in that night to say goodbye. And softly, she told me their story.
They grew up together. She and this cat had not known a day without each other. She was twenty and so was her kitty girl. They went through life, waking up in the morning together and saying good night at the end of the day. They shared joys and sorrows over those twenty years.
And Time goes on as Time always does and the pages in our stories keep flipping and turning and we’re all just rolling along merrily merrily down the road.
A system built on comings and goings
So, what to do. With the whole system built on comings and goings and beginnings and endings. And we know this to be true. It’s just easy to look away.
Until one day, I step across a blue toy laying in the middle of the floor and, pausing for a second, smile. Because he has put his favorite toy in the middle of the floor so we will notice it. And he hasn’t done this for a long time. (How long I don’t know because Denial was making a booty call and I was seduced again!)
So, for now, we’re in the twirling stage of the dance. Arms around waists, cheek to cheek. We have our routines and we like it that way. Besides, I think our routines help him keep tabs on us.
For his birthday in May we gave him our undying recommitment to do the best for him. Because we told him from the beginning, we ‘ve done this before and we know what we’re doing.
But what he doesn’t know is that we made a pact at the same time. We decided not to tell him how old he is anymore. Right now, we don’t have to fling the doors of reality open, so we’ll keep dancing. Because we’ve done this before.