By and by we’ll put this whole thing behind us. We’ve already started. Each week that passes we culminate another milestone. A precedent set, a first, a record broken.
Our mettle has been tested.
For some it may seem premature, but there are permanent changes solidly being put in place. And the questions are now circulating. How did you make it? How have you managed to get to where you are now with your guts intact? From the very beginning of whatever this whole experience has been, up to now, how did you do it? Understanding, of course, the beginning part was slightly different for all of us.
“Should I stay, or should I go?” The Clash
Each one in the group that is my tribe did something different. Some tucked in closer, hunkered down, as the now often phrase is used…. formed a pod, sealed off, crawled inward.
Some left their area, left their state, left the country. Some left, but left stuff behind so they’d have something to come home to – when the coast was clear. And, when the ‘coast is clear’ has been a different measure for each of us. Yes, it has tested our mettle.
I’m always careful to announce something got better or something got worse. Those gauges seem to include very finite parameters. And, what happens if it looks one way at the time, but changes along the way? I may want to change my mind, dammit!
(This is when I fiercely attach to my favorite Paulo Coelho quote about the storm clearing the path. And, this happens more as my age advances!)
Here’s what did happen, though. We fell deeper in love with each other. My sistahs, my bubulas, my wise women, my fellow crones…. we drew each other in from our various locations and created an even tighter commitment to the bond that gives our lives meaning. We held each other close, while, one by one, we gathered courage to do the individual deep dives into the corners of our long lives.
We tapped into the collective energy sources available to all of us, and wormed our way through the maze of self-discovery. We ran the current through and around us. Week after week. We ran the current through our grid.
Running into the cobwebs
Talk about mettle testing. Cleaning out the corners of one’s life has a way of revealing a lot of shadow. And walking through the door to tackle the mess that shadow work can create takes a strong backbone. This is no task for sissies. This is roll up your sleeves and get to work type of stuff.
We did that. We each took our turn. We did it alone, in silence and solitude. This kind of digging often requires a miner’s cap and light. It gets dark, and shit can fall down on your head.
And then, we took the rubble we sifted through and brought it to each other intimately, weekly. With humble humility, we offered up the week’s deep dive. In spite of distractions and roadblocks, self-doubt and lack of self-trust, we pushed through. And putting jigsaw pieces together, we paved the road of our path even tighter, each delightful week after another. And we cheered each other on with humor!
Like forging iron, in steely resolution we entered the process of self-exploration that we probably would have avoided were it not for the time put upon us.
Footprints already on the path
Surely, we already had solid roadmaps firmly in place. The teachers we used as references in the past were shared over and over again between us as we always had. But, now, faced with time like we’d not had before, we virtually grabbed each other by the hand and walked into unknown territory. And the landscape changed forever. No going back!
The dissections, gorgeous. The individual defining, sweet. And, what it really meant in the end, is that we listened to each other in a way than we hadn’t in the past. We took big sighs together. And we exhaled together. The talking stick we used was a magic wand.
A continuum of discovery
As much as we thought we knew about each other’s hearts, we discovered so much more. And the richness we uncovered helped us realize what an impact we’d made on our individual souls.
It’s a challenge to sum it all up into a description, or a blueprint. One of the reasons is probably because it’s ongoing until we reach the finish line.
“Where’re we goin’ fellas?” “To the top, Johnny!” “And where’s that fellas?” “To the toppermost of the poppermost!” ~ John Lennon